I love technology.
I can hear a collective gasp from many of the people who have known me during the last 30 years.
Miller? Love Technology? I thought he had some plate in his head that made computers malfunction. I thought cell phones were the Devil to this man. Why, he's never even had a car that lasted him longer than a warranty.
And it's true. Most people who know me are aware of my love for the traditional and comfortable, (i.e., my Levi's 501s, my vast collection of homemade TDK tape compilations, and my legendary pair of tennis shoes from 1981 with the silver duct-tape), but they also know of my pride in the great scientific leaps we as Americans have made.
Advancements in our level of technology always signal advancements in our level of society, to me. In other words, as our intellect as a country or species advances, we as a people get to take another step up the utopian stairwell towards some kind of a Wellsian society where nobody wrinkles, we're all well fed and healthy, and all the chicks are hot like in
Logan's Run. Man, that's a good movie. But anyway, in my humble opinion, the more advanced we get, the easier things should be, and the smarter we, collectively, should at least look.
I envision an alien life form peering in at us from parts unknown, gathering data on this struggling but heroic life form known as Mankind. They see us making strides in our communications technologies, righting the wrongs of intolerance via dialogue and understanding, making the most out of $99 weekend and anytime minutes, and they decide not to nuke us afterall. Nice. Saved by our level of technology.
But then again, I don't tweet.
Twitter is the newest, hottest electronic fad out there, and its rise in popularity and usage by an ever-growing number of people has me stunned down to my size 10 Converse all-stars.
In February, CQ Politics reported that Rep. Peter Hoekstra, R-Mich., broke a national security embargo when he tweeted the details of a secret congressional trip to Iraq: "Just landed in Baghdad."
Nice. Way to blow your cover, idiot. This guy is the equivalent of the nerd of the wolf pack who walks up on the stalking group of stealthy hunters and shouts out, "Hey guys! Is that a deer?" Or, as actual journalists might put it:
"Not only did Hoekstra reveal the existence of the lawmakers’ trip, but included details about their itinerary in updates posted every few hours on his Twitter page. Did we mention that Hoesktra is a ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee? Hoekstra's breach also happened to occur just months after the U.S. Army issued a
report warning that Twitter was a "potential terrorist tool." — Lili Ladaga,
CQ Politics
Ok. I'm gonna get all pissed and geeky here, but it's time to Quote Comic Books (where, truth be known, throughout my formative years I learned all sorts of scientific theory, cultural mythology, and expansive vocabulary. Big advocate of Comic Books, folks):
Have we learned nothing from Spider-Man? Do I have to say it again?
"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility." And I can't believe I'd actually have to explain what that means to anyone, either. I refuse to. Use the thesaurus app on your iPhone, idiot, and get back to me.
Basically, I feel that if we don't start using our heads as much as we use our technology, we are in for some serious trouble. It'll only be a matter of time before we screw ourselves up majorly with the kind of irresponsible "lookitme" activity many of us find ourselves immersed right now. We seem to be so desperate to be looked at, we don't care what the lighting makes us look like. And what ever happened to spelling, punctuation, sentence structure, and syntax? No room for them on a tw0-inch keyboard?
All I'm saying is: Settle down. Nobody's really interested in an up-to-date play-by-play on your life. It doesn't make it more glamorous, more exciting, or more colorful. Especially if you're not doing anything. Write a letter. Let your friends know. Get a blog. But shut the hell up. And if you really are doing something exciting or important, well, then, WAIT FOR IT TO BE FINISHED before you blab all about it. Who knows? Maybe more interesting stuff will happen, and then you can string them all together into cohesive paragraphs that have a beginning, middle and end, just like a real story.
Now I know there is a time and a place for all our marvelous acheivements, Twitter included. Up to the second communication is critical in some fields, and this technological marvel can help in those areas, I understand that. But here's the street for the rest of you morons:
Twitter is for overzealous self-important twelve year olds with no parental controls and an over-inflated sense of self. There. I said it. Live with it.
That's my take on it. Let me know what you think. I'll be here, filling out my Facebook profile and coming up with new t-shirt phrases.
